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In
the Presence of Ladies
| "Chesterfield says, 'Civility is particularly
due to all women; and, remember, that no provocation whatsoever
can justify any man in not being civil to every woman;
and the greatest man would justly be reckoned a brute
if he were not civil to the meanest woman. It is due to
their sex, and is the only protection they have against
the superior strength of ours; nay, even a little is allowable
with women; and a man may, without weakness, tell a woman
she is either handsomer or wiser than she is'" |
| Martine's
Handbook, 1866 |
| "When entering a crowded streetcar, a lady should
leave the door open. It is quite permissible for her to
appropriate the seat of the man who gets up to close it" |
| The Cynic's Rules
of Conduct, 1905 |
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| "A gentleman will assist a lady over a bad crossing,
or from an omnibus or carriage, without waiting for the formality
of an introduction. When the service is performed, he will raise
his hat, bow and pass on." |
| Hill's Forms, 1873 |
| "In passing through a door, the gentleman holds it open
for the lady, even though he never saw her before. he also precedes
the lady in ascending stairs, and allows her to precede him
in descending." |
Polite Society at Home and
Abroad, 1891 |
| "Do not press before a lady at a theater or a concert.
Always yield to her, if practicable, your seat and place. Do
no sit when she is standing, without offering her your place.
Consult not only your own ease, but also the comfort of those
around you." |
| Martine's Handbook, 1866 |
| "It is not deemed polite and respectful to smoke in the
presence of ladies, even though they are amiable enough to permit
it." |
| Martine's Handbook, 1866 |
| "If you meet a lady of your acquaintance in the street,
it is her part to notice you first, unless, indeed you are very
intimate. The reason is, if you bow to a lady first, she may
not choose to acknowledge you, and there is no remedy; but if
she bow to you--you as a gentleman cannot cut her."
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| Hints on Etiquette, 1836 |
| "A gentleman removes his hat when entering a room where
there are ladies. When he meets a lady friend, he should raise
his hat gracefully..." |
Polite Society at Home and
Abroad, 1891 |
Should one demand the surrender of a seat to a lady in a crowded
theater?
"To this, we would answer that, if the gallantry of the
gentlemen thus situated does not prompt them to proffer the
seats in question, it is rudeness to request it. A lady is a
lady, it is true; but if she could not come early enough to
get a good seat, she cannot expect that spectators who did should
inconvenience themselves for her sake" |
| Gody's Ladies Book, Jan
1850 |
| "...remember also that really well bred women will
not thank you for making them conspicuous by over officiousness
in their defense, unless, indeed, there be any serious or glaring
violation of decorum. In small matters, ladies are both able
and willing to take care of themselves, and would prefer being
allowed to overwhelm the unlucky offender in their own way"
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| Hints on Etiquette, 1836 |
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